Night out

You want a taste of what it is to live in a city, you go out when the night settles, you roam the dirty streets on your bike, zigzaging amongst the pretty people, you eat on a terrace of a cheap restaurant surrounded by the noise of ten others crowded cheap restaurants, you pick an irish pub because you heard there's an open mic night tonight, you stick yourself in front of the stage with the plan to stay there till the end but without consuming even one drink, people file up in a joyful atmosphere.
There's the required drummer who smiles all along, the gangly white guy with his unfitting shirt, the shy girl with a golden lace around her dress, she sings her heart out and wrinkles appear on her forehead when she closes her eyes, there's the easy going black-haired twins, two pairs of lungs to make you swing, there's the popular couple which can't watch the audience straight and focus on their song by staring at the beams of the ceiling, there's the way too much drunk guy from which we expect a catastrophe but in the end go out quite well to everyone's surprise, there's the wannabe stars who get on stage with a band name and tuxedos, and there's the boss, and older man, organizing the turns and playing a versatile guitare to accompany many up to be artists, cheers and beers for everyone, it seems easy to be there, so many regulars, all singing for the final signature song, it is joy and claps, loud bursts of laughters and jokes, it's heavily insouciant, you cross many glances and affable faces, "we're all in this together" they seem to say, then in the advanced night the show ends and you go out right outside the archaically carved wooden door to breathe some fresh air and lift your head at the moon, smokers are there too, but no one to talk to, one night's not enough, and that's how it must be, you're thinking one hundred nights won't help because you're not on that merry boat, the experience was good, enjoyable, and probably you'll be there again some other time, so where is the rupture, the disconnection, you were perfectly fine in there, confident from start to end, but you even prefer the dark corner of yourself, who wants to join? 
Easy and foolish is not for me.